Archive for January, 2015

January 13th, 2015

If you look closely, you’ll see the other players were all holograms.

Imagine there’s a prize awarded to one among thousands of participants in a thing each year. It’s merit-based, or at least it’s supposedly merit-based, and not on secondary or tertiary considerations such as how much public attention this participant ropes in for the thing itself. Merit as in how good they are at this thing. He who has excelled before his peers, he who has grown beyond, refined his skill, applied himself fully.

Now imagine that every year since you started awarding this prize, the winner is one of two goddamned people. Two. Out of thousands.

Like the winners, there seem to be two ways of looking at this:

1. These two people are really, really great;
2. The rest of the participants absolutely blow and aren’t getting any better.

Actually, I don’t even see why these’d be mutually exclusive perspectives.

All that being said, let’s drag in the actual subject of this charade: FIFA men’s soccer. Namely, this bet, which stipulated that anyone other than Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, or Luis Suarez would win the 2014 FIFA Ballon d’Or. Bearing in mind that Suarez was pretty much out of the running when he decided to snack upon another player during a World Cup game last year and subsequently got fewer chances to prove his worthiness on the field, this was essentially a bet on whether Messi or Ronaldo would win.

Surely men’s soccer has other players than these two, thought I. Surely over the space of an entire year, and one showcasing talent on a World Cup stage, there must be someone other than the only two players who have ever won this award who can allow the judges to finally and at long last show that their organization and everyone-2 in it doesn’t suck, thought I. So I made an MPIF bet against the status quo. When neither Messi’s Argentina nor Ronaldo’s Portugal won the WC, this bet seemed all the sweeter.

And yet, earlier tonight the suits and kits dressed up in formalwear and sucked the status quo cock yet again. Ronaldo won, my bet lost about two thirds of a coin, and soccer continued to be boring as fuck.

Well done boys, you’ve got two players across six confederations and two hundred nine national associations. I could’ve sworn I’d seen other mugs on your fields, but I guess I stand corrected.

January 2nd, 2015

Line betting on BitBet, December 2014

—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—–
Hash: SHA1

Report 9. January 2nd, 2015
Accounting url: bitbet.us/stats/18bCNXjdT2NUjcip6KdbFR5EEFAu3oTgTq

Total wagers made: 0; all time: 54 (2x wagers on 27 bets)
Total wagered: 0 BTC; all time: 27 BTC
Total bets resolved: 0; all time: 171
Total calls won: 0; all time: 13
Total calls lost: 0; all time: 4
Total calls pending: 10 (20 wagers on 10 bets)
Total amount won: 0, less 0 BTC resolved wagers, for a period of stasis; to date, 15.6557465 won less 17 BTC resolved wagers, for an all-time loss of 1.3442535.

Outstanding wagers: 10 BTC

Notes:
January tends to see a lot of new bets (see 2014, 2013), which should provide some nice opportunities.

***
—–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—–
Version: GnuPG v1.4.10 (GNU/Linux)
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=SACr
—–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

  1. Bets 1004, 830, 1078, and 807, resolved January 1st, will appear in next month’s report, naturally. []