Archive for November, 2017

Beachcombing, A Guide

Sunday, November 5th, 2017

Remember when poring over the shore with a metal detector was socially acceptable, despite its apparently mandatory uniform of fanny packs, boater hats, oversized sunglasses, and ringed tube-socks pulled up tight to almost, not-quite reach the cuffs of beige cargo shorts? Well I don't. I'd only seen it taking place in cartoons, which might explain the universal dress code. During the last trip to the Pacific side of Paradise I spotted an old man looking almost, not-quite the part, detector in hand, headphones over hat, sweeping the sand.

I don't get it; metal detectors don't pick up crabs, and obviously that's what you'd go to the beach to see. Crabspotting is simple. You stand in one spot and wait for the shells and rocks to start moving, then you run to the morsel in question waving your arms and yelling.

Sometimes crabs and their assorted friends rent out a better house, which you can find by looking for signs of redecoration:

Sadly, this particular condominium was still on the market, and hadn't taken in any squatters.

Better results will likely be had if one is brave enough to venture into the metropolitan crabcentres.

Or inside ex-boat flotsam barges.

Once a good quantity of crabs have been duly perturbed, a good day of beachcombing calls for saying something prosaic about how beautiful the sunset is.

And of course, you get bonus points for finding bananas.

Tally it all up and I'm pretty sure I came out ahead of ol' sweepy.