Reading #ossasepia logs, or: my jig is up.

November 10th, 2019

My IRC channel, #trilema-hanbot, has been registered for some years, though as noted there it served solely as my testing grounds for a long-defunct bot. While it has ever been welcome to both the lordship and whatever stragglers the republic has accumulated over time, I never explicitly stated as such, nor did I take any steps to populate it. Mircea Popescu recently gave me the task of getting up to speed with Diana Coman's rather successful channel/castle, with a view towards cultivating my own. This was both a very pleasant and a very unsettling experience --unsettling in the literal sense, it shaking loose some rather long-held and not fully examined ideas and practices. In that order, then, allow me to recount.

I was aware that Diana had attracted and retained some folks intent on contributing to the republic, but I hadn't a clue of their quantity or quality. What a pleasant surprise to find several people clearly throwing themselves into the chaos and churn! What fun to set aside a few days to read logs peppered with others' struggles to read logs! I quite enjoyed discovering the often long, arduous journeys to speaking up recounted by Diana's pageboys --it's about as good a guide on "what's with/what happened to the lurkers, dabblers, and would-bes from back in the day?" as we could hope to get. I'm glad to see there's apparently a great deal to be salvaged from that heap, which was previously written off in my mind.

Moreover Diana's firm and level hand is remarkably fit for the sort of pedagogy herein desired. What particularly struck me was her precisely codified structure; featuring a straightforward pledge of submission and a clear hierarchy of development, the ossasepia castle doesn't leave its inhabitants much to remain in the dark about, as far as their own involvement and commitments stand. I'm curious to see how this works as a driver, and will be closely observing how the potential for love of title and recognition to poison love of work plays out, or doesn't.1

So why was the experience unsettling? Reading #ossasepia's logs made something very clear to me: as it stands, I am inaccessible. To wit, I found that one of Diana's recruits actually thought I might be a bot2. Moreover, discussions of setting up a home3 or sourcing irons in Costa Rica4, and of trading BTC in Panama5 didn't find me, nor I them.

In all honesty this enraged me at first, but then I realized my own, rather severe, culpability: I haven't been talking about any of this, nor making it clear that I'm available to talk about it. All there is consists of some (by now aged and by that reason suspect of irrelevancy) blog posts and milquetoast mentions in the logs. The cause for this vaguery is two-pronged: one is sheer laziness and neglect. This can be dressed up in whatever flavors and finery of "other priorities" you'd like, but that's neither interesting nor relevant. It's true that I have heavy offline duties, as the man himself has occasionally alluded to, even, but everyone has their own, and I'd be dishonoring the very duties I most respect and believe in if I used them as an excuse to slack in other areas that need attention. The second prong is my struggle to coexist as the functional head of Mircea Popescu's household and as a lord within the republic. Even attempting the description of these titles is daunting, inasmuch as they've fostered a great deal of tension for a long time. Who shall you know me as? Where do these roles overlap, and where may they not? Suffice it to say I've been steeping in these questions for years, and clearly I've not come to any useful conclusion.

Enough is enough, though. I cannot be useful to the republic or its members while things I could contribute lay fallow for the sake of what ultimately boils down to solipsistic thumb-twiddling. That it's taken me quite so long to give it up is shameful, and I'll work to make amends, if they can so be made. For many years the bulk of my output was invisible, and I suspect some portion of it will remain so, but meanwhile various things I never thought would be made public, have been. I intend to do a lot more testing of the borders therein.

This, for my part. For yours, dear lordship, I beseech you: lean on me, expect from me, as much as you would from anyone else. Take me to task if you see me failing or flailing. I am not fragile, nor should my proximity to MP exempt me from anything. I will grow with or without your help, but I'd much rather do it with. It'll be faster, anyway, and fuck knows I need all the speed I can get to keep up.

A page organizing and detailing my channel will be available Monday is available here.

  1. So far I'd say the majority of Diana's court is natively mature enough to avoid the problem. []
  2. It was perhaps forseeable that #trilema, like #bitcoin-assets before it, could and would use various bots, whether for logging or carrying out mundane tasks, but what can I say; hanbot had been my handle for ~all of my existence online, and for much of my life before I did much of anything online other than grief people in Diablo. I'll pay the price for the confusion, and assume the responsibility of making it more clear that no, I am not a robot, though I can dance like one. I'm not changing my handle, administer all the Voight-Kampff tests you want. []
  3. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19. []
  4. 1 []
  5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and I'm sure there was another even recently between Mircea and Diana that I can't now find, but at some point the exhaustiveness is truly exhausting. []

6 Responses to “Reading #ossasepia logs, or: my jig is up.”

  1. Diana Coman says:

    I'll certainly send them to any info you publish (hey, I referenced several times the MPOE-PR posts alone!) and otherwise send them to *ask* you for further details, for sure! I knew and know you are doing a lot otherwise and it seemed to me that you really had your plate overflowing there, no time to spare on confused newcomers really.

    And thank you!

  2. hanbot says:

    Thanks to you too. I'll have to make time; the gap between what I want to be part of and what I'm actually part of has grown too wide.

  3. BingoBoingo says:

    Honestly the biggest difference I see between the mess 2018 Q1 and the mess 2019 Q4 is that Diana's holding a court where new and not so new comers can arrive and start working on getting their heads fixed. Before there was just a douchebag however active that in the end was revealed to be simply especially sandy sand. While the crop is still green, it biases towards folks who've already jumped the fence and left the zone instead of endlessly waiting for some fog obscured conditions that might give them the opportunity down the line... if they feel like it... if no one sharing a roof with them objects to hopping the fence...

    In the interim there were a bunch, myself included, overweighting "correctness" supposedly just around the corner that never came. No routing of our own because we couldn't buy off the shelf because it wasn't correct enough.

    My own auditing of how contact with a certain scientist affected my own processes... is revealing a lot of unnecessary handicapping, much of which had become rather internalized. I've got notes I'll summarize once I'm sufficiciently out of the fire to assess how much the recent, invigorating, committment to activity has helped me unload.

    All this said, following #ossasepia seems to have played in big role in keeping the state of sadness from growing into an all consuming melanchly or a persistent existential dread.

  4. hanbot says:

    BingoBoingo: #ossasepia certainly was and is a welcome patch of green in an occasionally very bleak-looking landscape. I look forward to reading your summarized notes. Thus far your handling of the various fallouts has been pleasantly instructive.

  5. @BB yes, things definitely improved, by heaps and bounds. That this comes at the "cost" of overboarding whoever dun wanna improve along... nobody yet went bankrupt paying that kinda costs.

  6. [...] on the beach. So per the advice of diana_coman, I hopped into #trilema-hanbot to speak with a lord keen on becoming accessible to those within [...]

Leave a Reply