To be a blog, and not a vase

July 21st, 2021

From MP's A Conceit, or The Importance of Blogging:

So my friends : do not be afraid of all the things that are scary. The most they can do while under your gaze is make you stronger. Be instead afraid of the things you make no effort to understand, because from behind they can give you quite the sound trashing. And the worst part of it is... you'll likely never know.

What shall I say, that in the accrued naivite of my thirty-seven years, the lack of careful, methodical, documented inquiry into consciousness as a philosophical construct, I find myself indeed trashed, indeed from behind, with all the flavors and meanings of "quite" quite sprinkled on top? I could, because it's true, the one person I'd like most to talk it over with no longer so openly available to me, even if vast troves of his thought still exist for me to visit, again and again. I wonder if my knowledge would ever seem sufficient to me to handle the plurious and profound voids before me; in truth I doubt it.

I do not understand why, for knowing there cannot be an answer. I do not understand how, for having been there. I do not understand what --neither what death is, beyond some sort of trick I can't yet figure out, nor what life is now. At many junctures, I don't want to understand, I simply want to be let in. Let in on the joke, brought to the end so as to see the view with him again.

I could spend forever finding fault with myself, for having failed to give so completely in all categories so as to understand better now, but really it's a failure for having not died from any of the challenges he gave me. I would have, gladly, and I don't know why I didn't manage. Still, I never wanted to as much, as deeply, as truly, as I do now.

But no event, even if it's the implosion of the sun, actually makes my feelings more interesting. Nothing can make them matter. What matters now is the work of caring for what, of his, that I can. Inasmuch as that includes myself and his conceit of blogging, I shall push myself to produce more.

One Response to “To be a blog, and not a vase”

  1. Aaron Rogier says:

    (Resumbitted with links stripped, originally submitted July 26, 2021 at 1:15 a.m. but I suspect too many links)

    You have my ongoing condolences for Mircea Popescu's passing.

    I am curious about the future of MPEx. In January 2020 during the last thrashings about in the late Republic I deposited 7.5 BTC with Jurov's brokerage CoinBR to fund and enter a bid on Qntra shares, 500,000 S.QNTR at 0.00001500 BTC (bingology.net/2020/an-onramp-for-contributing-to-qntra-on-qntra/#selection-63.0-71.104)

    When Jurov and later Mats inquired about getting CoinBR funds out of MPEx, I respected the man's decision to say "no" to more boy problems and kept quiet after having disappointed him enough. (trilema.com/2020/closure/#comment-150165 trilema.com/2020/closure/#comment-152139 trilema.com/2020/closure/#comment-152141)

    This is probably on of the smallest open problems from his passing, but are the coins that were held on MPEx for Jurov's CoinBR going to be disbursed at some point as part of cleaning up the books or do they remain in limbo. I can respect either outcome, but I'd like to know.

    I wish you well.

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